It’s horribly frustrating and leaves you feeling defeated and broken.ĭepression is a war within your own mind and it feels as though you are constantly losing. I can obviously relate to someone who has an unknown source dictating their emotions without their control. Even as someone who has struggled with depression for as long as I can remember, it still irks me to see someone in a bad mood and be unable to snap out of it. There is a really fucked up, dark side of me that I don’t like people to see. I don’t like feeling sad and being in a bad mood and I don’t like others to witness me in a bad mood. Even if I’m not, I’m able to get myself there and at the very least appear to be in one. But even though I’m a naturally sad person deep down, it doesn’t mean I can’t feel acute happiness and intense optimism.
I have a freakishly broad range of emotions and they can be hard to live with at times. I will always know too much and feel too much and hurt too much. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never feel as blissful as I once did when I was very young. No matter how much fun I may be having, or how happy I may feel, there is a permanent sadness lingering in the back of my mind. But it’s possible to be a happy person with depression. It can make you think irrationally and feel unreasonably and make you feel completely and utterly alone in the world. They can’t laugh, they can’t smile, they can’t enjoy themselves, they don’t feel happiness.ĭepression can be enveloping, it can take over your life and dictate your mood. When there is talk of someone struggling with depression, most people assume they’re miserable. Being a very happy, optimistic person with depression is a strange combination.
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